Dino

After a long 24 hours underway, I finally arrived on Tonsai Beach. Like usual, things didn’t go according to plan…

When I arrived at Krabi Airport, I grabbed the shuttle to Krabi Town where I planned on staying for the night (my plane landed at 6:30 pm). On the bus, I heard a couple of people saying they were headed directly to Tonsai. I asked them if they thought that was a good idea, and if there would still be rooms available. According to all the climbing guidebooks, all the rooms are usually booked up in the morning, and your only alternative is to sleep on the beach. Carrying 40 kilos (yup, do the math – it’s 2.2 pounds to a kilo) of stuff and sleeping on a beach in Dengue Fever country was not in my plans. One of the bus people assured me it would be fine…at night…during the high travel season. So I took the bus to the pier at Ao Nang and grabbed a long tail boat to Tonsai.

On the boat I met the strangest Italian, Dino. At first he seemed normal, a little difficult to understand, but normal. We got to the beach and found every bungalow full. There was one upscale resort place that had one room left, but for a ridiculous rate. So we continued along the path being told that the places were full the entire way. We ran into Shawn, a Canadian resembling Ronnie from the Jersey Shore, and he was in the same predicament, so he joined us in our quest for shelter. We ended up going back to the last room available on all of Tonsai and paying way too much for the room. The three of us agreed to share the price which made it much more reasonable. Next came the logistical question, which two people were going to share a bed? The beds weren’t big to begin with, so we decided to settle it like mature adults…by going to the bar and getting drunk enough to forget about the problem at hand and hoping it solves itself.

At the bar, Shawn and I realized Dino was really weird. What we initially thought was a language barrier was soon proved to be Dino’s complete lack of ability to communicate in any language. I think that if Dino was in Italy, other Italians wouldn’t know what the hell he was talking about. For example, at a restaurant with a very extensive menu (and pictures!), he ordered French toast. When it came, he didn’t know what it was. This was just the beginning of the Dino experience. At the bar, he was drinking with us, and then he disappeared. He returned two hours later, but after a half an hour of trying to figure out where the hell he went, we all gave up. Another instance was when he was talking to the bartender about going to one of the neighboring islands in the morning. The bartender offered to arrange his ticket for him (likely for the commission). Dino shook his head and repeated the name of the island. They bartender explains that the boat leaves at 10:30 in the morning, Dino repeats the name of the island. They guy asks him again if he wants him to buy the ticket, Again Dino repeats the name of the island. British comedies don’t contain this much awkward conversation…

Dino ended up being the first to crash and headed back to the room around 1:30 in the morning. That left Shawn and I to discuss the Dino situation. There is a weird, unintelligible, mumbling man in our room.

Like I said before, at the bar we planned on solving the who’s sharing a bed scenario. Several hours later, we had a solution. Neither Shawn, nor I wanted to share a bed with Dino. We decided to share the bed (Shawn and I), but we quickly realized that we were both much bigger than Dino. So it only made sense for one of us to bite the bullet and crawl into bed with Dino. At 4:00 am Shawn (not being as stubborn as me) crawled into the other bed. The last thing I remember was Shawn saying he could imaging both of us being murdered in our sleep…

Dino woke up the next morning and left for the boat. Shawn and I took long showers and tried to cleanse ourselves of the Dino experience. I can honestly say that he was the weirdest little man I’ve ever shared a roof with.

Because we arrived by boat after dark, I could see the outline of the cliffs surrounding Tonsai, but this is what I woke up to this morning (the scale is lost on these photos but these cliffs are massive!).

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